Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Promises, Promises; stop abusing air quotes

So I told myself that I am going to be serious about this getting fit thing and I am going to turn it into a project like BEDA. I have yet to think up a cool name for it but I am trying to make it a summer thing. Starting May 1, I am going to work out 5 days a week for about 2 hours a session. Rain or shine, headache or cramps, I WILL be working out. I love to eat so it will be hard for me to control my food, but I WILL TRY.
I have a gym membership and my P90X videos that will help me along with my newly strengthened will. My cousin, Julio, is on my back about doing the videos and he is ripped (not because of the videos, he was always ripped) so I am feeling the pressure. Courtnee refuses to return my Hip Hop Abs dvd so I don't have all of my "equipment" but I have a start.

Goal #1 for the summer is to lose 30lbs, (no 20lbs, let's be realistic) by my birthday. So hopefully, on June 20 of this year, I will be 30 (20) lbs lighter.

Goal #2 for this summer is to get myself UNDER 200lbs because, let's be honest, what self-respecting woman wants to be over 200lbs? I've been over 200 since I was 17 years old and when I was 21, I was 260. I'm lower than that now, but I need to be significantly lower to the point where it would be impossible for me to touch it again even if I was pregnant with triplets.

Goal #3 for this summer is to get a new bathing suit, maybe even a two-piece because the one I have now has been in my possession since I was 14 so that would be almost 11 years.

I have other goals for the summer but they have nothing to do with my fitness promise so I will talk about them some other time.

Now, to something that rose today at work and has been troubling me for a while. There are a couple of people that I work with who have no idea how to use air quotations. Sometimes they use it for a sentence that contains no irony, no euphemism or anything of the like, and I mean the entire sentence. Someone said: I'm going home to "wait for the window guys so they can fix the windows." That is exactly how she said it with the quotation marks in the places where she put them. Can anyone tell me what in that sentence needed air quotes? Now I would understand if she said: My husband and I are going to be home alone "waiting for the window guys." Then we would proceed to tease her about her sex life. But in the previous case, she really meant that she was going to be home waiting for the window guys to fix her windows.

Did she NOT see that episode of Friends where Ross was showing Joey how to properly use air quotes?

I forget how my boss misused them but she irritates me anyway because she puts an R at the end of the word criteria.

Oh and when using the air quotes, they don't just move the index and middle fingers, they move the fingers and the hands and make it look like they have frisky rabbits attached to their wrists.

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