I am such a liar! Seriously. Sometimes it is a good thing and sometimes it is a bad thing for me. When it comes to exercise, I would tell myself that when I was done with the lap I was on, I would stop, but then I would be done with the lap and I would tell myself that I would finish the minute and then the minute would end and I would be halfway through a lap again and so on. Lying to myself so that I can lose weight is good.
Lying to myself so that I can stay lazy is bad. Sometimes I would tell myself that I would be proactive and deal with my work issue and my other issues. I know that I need a better paying job, but I tell myself that no one is hiring anyway so why bother. I tell myself that I can't afford to go to grad school and no one will help me. I tell myself that all the good guys are taken so why bother go out and try to meet anyone.
I'm just a big liar. I only seem to be lying to myself or about myself to the important people. I'm so worried about disappointing them and I make up little white lies to convince them that I'm doing what I should be doing and to sort of motivate me to get the ball rolling. I figure, well I told someone that I am doing such and such so I should probably do it. Nope, I don't do it anyway.
What is wrong with me? Why am I so discouraged? I know that things that I should be doing so why am I not doing them? Maybe it is because I am doing them alone. I noticed that if I had a gym partner, then I would actually be able to go. I managed to get through the whole month of April and blog every day. I may have been blogging alone, but I didn't feel alone because there were a ton of other people who were doing it too, so I felt like a part of a community.
I guess it is true what they say, "No man is an island". I can't do things by myself, especially life changing things. Now I am going to have to learn because I have no one here and I work with a bunch of underachievers. No one I know that is around me wants to better themselves so I HAVE to do it alone.
The things I want to do within the next two years:
I want to take the GRE and get into Grad school
I want to get under 170lbs
I want to have a KICK ASS 25th birthday
I want to publish a short story in a literary magazine
I want to be in a promising long-term relationship with a wonderful man
I want to go on a real vacation
I want to sing on a stage
I want to write a book
Ok, I think I'm done for today.
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