Monday, February 28, 2011

A Story Worth Telling

I've talked about how fun reading can be and being able to escape to another world while reading.  Lately, I've found myself completely embodying the characters in the books that I read.

I find a relatable character, most likely the female lead, and I become her for the duration of my reading time.  I feel her anger, her sorrow, her passion. I don't do this intentionally; it just sort of happens. Maybe it's normal, maybe it isn't, but I feel like a completely different person.

It could very well be bacause I find my real life so blah, and the lives of the characters in the books so much more exciting. I don't actually wish I was that character because sometimes they go through some effed up stuff, but I guess my deeper reason for wanting to feel their lives is because their stories were worth telling. Whether fictional or not, someone felt it was important to tell a story of that particular person, and I would like to live a life that is worth being remembered.

Friday, February 25, 2011


It hurts to know that the people who I thought were on my side were only there for their own personal gain. How can it be that the only reason why these people help me is because I'm doing what they want me to do.  How can these people, who are supposed to love me unconditionally, make me feel like if I don't do as I'm told, I won't be loved.

These are not the people that I want in my life.

We choose the people that are in our lives, whether we know it or not. I choose to take these people out of my life.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

Creation 10 - Home

A Haiku

My Heart is not here.
My Heart, she lives within me.
I am my own home.

Deep, right? I know.

Parental Pressure

I've noticed that there is a very thin line between the pressure that parents put on their kids and parents wanting what's best for their kids.

I've also noticed that it is very hard for parents to realize that their kids are growing up. I think that parents put pressure on their kids so that they can feel like they still have an influence on their children's decisions. Sometimes they take it to a level where they try to make their children feel like bad people for not doing as they are told.

I thought you raised us to have a mind of our own instead of having to depend on someone else to make our decisions.

I thought that this country provided us with countless opportunities, not limited, preselected ones.

I don't want to be what you want me to be. I'd rather not a boatload of money every year if it means having to be grumpy for 11 1/2 hours everyday.

The only thing that I can bring with me to my grave is happiness and that is what I intend to do.

How to date when living with the 'rents

I joined eHarmony in December hoping to find some romance for this year. So far nothing, but It's only February. Now that I am living back home with the parents, I don't really have much of a social life and whenever I go out and act my age, I get reprimanded like a 12 year old.

I'm sorry, I thought I was allowed to have a drink now and then.

Having a social life is pretty hard when I live at home with my parents.  I can't exactly bring friends over because it would feel like I was being chaperoned. Imagine if I brought a date home and our relationship wasn't at the "let's meet the parents" phase yet. What a tragedy that would be. 

I'm almost afraid to find someone just for that particular reason.  In my head, I feel that I can't date like a real 26 year old until I live on my own place.  One thing I know for sure, if I started dating while living with the 'rents, it would be practically impossible for me to g too fast with whomever I'm seeing. That's is the only plus I can think of at the moment.

I guess, no matter situation you are in, however bad it may seem, there is always a plus side.

I wish I were dating right now, but at least I don't have to deal with the awkwardness ofa sexual relationship.

I wish I were living on my own, but at least I have the opportunity to save money for trips.

I wish I didn't live with my parents, but at least I have parents who care enough to let me stay.


It is really hard to blog everyday when nothing exciting happens to me on a daily basis. I haven't exercised in a week and a half and I feel like a cow. I've been nursing my bed bug bites on my chest. They are gone now, but you can  tell that they were there. Now it just looks like a giant M shaped bruise.

The last couple of weeks have been more downs than ups so I need to get back on track. I made a promise to myself that I would exercise everyday and that is what I am going to do. I was enjoying my routine, and it was actually making a difference.

I also promised that I would write everyday this month and that went down the drain.  So I am going to make up the days (fingers crossed) and have 28 February posts on the 28th.

My seminar is teaching me a lot about the promises that I make. I shouldn't feel bad and give up after my promise is broken; I whould just fix my promise and make things right with the world.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Honest, Trustworthy and Passionate is the new Tall, Dark and Handsome

So I'm learning about understanding the difference between standards/ ideals and values/principles.  When it comes to the people in my life and my relationships with them (especially the relationships that aren't working), I see how much I hold them to these impossible standards. It's totally unfair to them and totally unrealistic of me. I also see that if something is missing in a relationship, I have to step up and make that change. It is almost certain that the thing that is missing is the major reason why the relationship isn't working.

How did you select the people in your life? Did you say that you wanted smart, good looking friends or did you ask for supportive and trustworthy friends? Did you get what you asked for? Are you happy with what you got? Is there something missing? Do you value your friendship enough to step up to the plate and provide the missing piece? This goes for family and coworkers too.

Before you can have people in your life who embody your values and principles, you would have to embody your values and principles.

Monday, February 14, 2011

Valentine's Eve

I'm really enjoying my mom's company lately. When it has nothing to do with my physical being, she can have some really good advice to give. I love hearing stories about the family when she was still living in a one bedroom house with her parents and 9 brothers and sisters. I try to have moments like that with my dad, but if I'm not wearing a soccer uniform, cleats and kicking a ball around on TV, I don't have a chance.

So today's Mommy and me movie was "Love Happens" with Jennifer Aniston and Aaron Eckhart. I saw it in the theater when it came out and I thought it was cute. I'm glad that I got to share another movie with my mother. She really liked it.

It's funny, romantic and emotional. I'm glad that it wasn't one of those movies where the people sleep with each other before they really get to know each other.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

It Feels Good to do Good

You all may or may not know that I write for the Operation: Empower Haiti blog which helps to bring awareness to the struggles that the Haitians have been facing since the earthquake on January 12, 2010. I've wanted to be a writer for a long time, and I never had the courage to put myself out there as a writer. It feels good to know that not only am I writing, but I am doing it for a good cause.

I'm sure that it has crossed everyone's mind to do something for a charity, but it always feels like a burden just thinking about it.  I, for one, always thought that if I wanted to help out with a charity, I would have to step outside of myself and do something that doesn't come natural to me or that I don't enjoy.

I've learned that if I want to make a difference in the world, I have to do it in a way that I love and makes me feel good in the process. I personally love to sing and write so I would probably so something like Karaoke for Cancer where people could pledge $10 for every song that I sing or Short Stories for Stem Cell Research where everyone would have 1 hour to write an original short story and have people pledge a penny per word, then collect all of the stories and publish them all together and sell it and donate the proceeds to the charity. That one would probably be boring to watch though.

Think about the things that you love to do and how you can help the world by doing so.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

It's Just a Little Crush

Valentine's Day is just around the corner; for those of you who have plans, have fun and be safe.  For those of you who see it as just another day, cool, rock on. If you wish you had plans, whether attached or not, don't worry you still have time.

Today, though, I would like to talk to you all who have your eye on someone and the chances of being with that someone seem pretty slim.  I am on the same boat with you. If you saw the person I had my eye on right now, you would be like "Whoa, yeah, I know what you mean". Chances are definitely slim in that department, but luckily for me, I don't have to walk around him all awkward-like because we became friends.

If you have a crush on someone who doesn't seem like he or she would go for you, the best way that I have found to get over it is to get to know the person you are crushing on. It is best to see what this person is like outside of the setting that you normally share. There are a few possible outcomes from doing this.

1. You learn things about this person that you really don't like, thereby destroying the crush.
2. You learn that this person is really cool which solidifies your crush and then you meet their significant other (who happens to think you are super cool); being the good person that you are you don't try to break that relationship which results in the gain of two new friends.
3. You learn that this person returns the feelings and is really cool so Yay for you!!!

The list goes on and on. I was seriously going to type them all but my brain is too crazy for that now. anyway, the worst thing that could happen is that the person doesn't feel the same way and they don't want to be your friend, in which case, why would you want a person like that in your life?

Yes crushes are annoying, distracting and eventually painful. You just have to remember that Mr. or Mrs. Rightforyou will find you and all will be right with the world.

Ok, enough with the gushy stuff, here are some cool crush related songs that I like.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

Where have all the bookstores goooooooone?

I was at Palmer Park Mall last week and something felt wrong. I walked from one end of the mall to the other wondering why it suddenly felt so empty and dark. I left FYE after purchasing seasons 1 and 2 of Noah's Ark, The Lovely Bones and The Duchess and decided to buy a book.

I was totally confused because I couldn't find the book store. What I found, instead, was a big empty space with the gates closed and the lights turned off. The shelves were still standing, but they were complete bare. I was in total shock. I couldn't breathe. I almost cried. "What happened to my bookstore", I asked audibly, knowing that no one would answer my question.

Damn you Kindle!!! Damn you Nook!!! Damn you iPad!!!

Wednesday, February 09, 2011

Savin' Haiti

Please watch this slideshow/ video that I put together!!! Thanks!!!

I/ We am/are perfect right now!

I learned a lesson yesterday that I always understood, but didn't really get. As some of you may know, I'm on this exercise kick and it is really sticking with me. I've been doing a lot of self improvement. I seriously thought that I was doing all of this to get others to like me. At least, that is why I was doing it before, and that is also why I failed all those times before. Now I know that improving myself has nothing to do with other people and everything to do with me.  And it isn't really even improving myself, I'm just chipping away at all of the gunk that is inconsistent with the person that I want to be or really am.

A sculptor was once asked how he knew what to chip away and what to keep. He replied by saying that he was taking away everything that wasn't the sculpture. We as human beings are already perfect sculptures; we are just carrying all of that extra stuff on us that keeps us hidden.

The lesson I thought I knew was:
"If you can't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."

That's all well and good, but last night I learned:
"If I can't love myself at my worst, I don't deserve myself at my best."

What a difference a pronoun makes. I have been judging myself with all of these ridiculous standards for so long that I hadn't realized how overshadowed my values and principles were. I always talk about how the world needs more love and acceptance, but how am I loving and accepting myself if I am constantly telling myself that I should be a different way? Now I know that I am living my perfect life and being my perfect self right now.

Monday, February 07, 2011

Bite you in the butt

I went to be last night dreading having to come to work today. Not because of work itself but because of the big ass fool I made of myself in front of my coworkers on Friday.  Luckily for me, the coworkers I am referring to are close to my age, so I know they won't judge me. I was tossing and turning thinking about the funny stuff and the humiliating stuff. Now these people know just about everything there is to know about me.

I thought work today was going to be filled with awkward glances and phantom chuckles behind my back, but it wasn't. I still have a headache lingering from Saturday so that was all the distraction I needed today, well that and the 5:20 am phone call I got from my sister that woke my up from my 3 hours long sleep. My seminar session is tonight and I am going to be tired as hell.

You know, sometimes it's alright to turn down free drinks, even if the most beautiful guy you've ever met is offering.

Sunday, February 06, 2011

Mommy and Me

I enjoy spending time with my mother. That may not sound like the truth, but it is. I grew up thinking that my parents were like Cliff and Claire Huxtable; I was Rudy, my sister was Vanessa, my older brother was Theo and my younger brother was a male Olivia.

I love those moments when I can just sit and watch a movie with my mother. Its like we are suspended in time. There's no yesterday and there is no tomorrow. There is just right now with me and my mom. Today we watched The Duchess with Keira Knightley. We enjoyed ourselves.

Taking it back

I'm watching Centric right now and they were showing the 2010 Soul Train Award. They honored Anita Baker and Ronald Isely with the legends award. When they were singing Anita's songs, I was brought back. Do you know the feeling when you hear a song you haven't heard in years. You remember how much you love that song and you sing it out loud without missing a word like you were practicing it all day long.

I just want to share a few songs with you.

Sweet Love

Giving you the best that I got

Caught up in the Rapture

If you don't love Anita Baker, you will now!!!

Saturday, February 05, 2011

Oh My LAWD!!!!!

So I missed yesterday because I was being "naughty". I will not write that story down though because I would like to leave as little evidence as possible. However, I am happy to say that the craziness that happened last night was a bonding experience and the two people that were there with me are like my two new best friends.

In my experience, I find that the friends that last are the ones that come into your life in the weirdest situations. Kim and I became best friends the first day we met in the map room at Hill taking pictures of someone's tie hanging on the exit sign. We've been friends for 11 years. Mo.De became a permanent fixture in my life in college when my first roommate didn't show up for room picks. Mo walked by and I asked her if she picked her room yet. We became roommates and we've been friends for almost 9 years. Courtnee found me walking home from work at the day care. She looked at me like was crazy. It would have taken me almost an hour to walk home, lucky for me, she gave me a ride. We've been friends for 4 years.

I treat my friends like they are family and I have no idea what I would do without them. When it comes to my friends, I am truly blessed.

Thursday, February 03, 2011

Working it out

I have lived a pretty blessed life. I've even been called lucky on occasion, but there have also been events in my life where if I studied them closely for a long period of time, I would get lost in that original emotion and fall back into it.

I won't go into details of which events I'm referring but let's just say that they are intense and strong enough to have me fall into a depression over something that happened 10 years ago. Luckily for me, I have always had at least one person in my life at the time to help me work through it. At Hill, I had Kim and Charlie. At Drew, I had Mollie. After college I had Alissa. In Easton, I had Courtnee and now I have my sister.

Whether it is man trouble, work trouble or any other kind of life trouble, I always had someone to help me work through it and to teach me something. Kim and Charlie taught me you really can choose your family. Mollie taught me how to have fun. Alissa reignited my love for music and singing. Courtnee showed me that I can be as young and fierce as I want to be and my sister is teaching me that I'm much wiser than I think.

Everybody has somebody to help work things out, but if you feel like you have nobody, realize that you have yourself and you are somebody. Do the things you love to do or always wanted to do, you never know who you will meet in the process. You may find a new part of yourself that you never thought was there.

Wednesday, February 02, 2011


Here is a list of my favorite nerds!!!  YUM!!!



 MINKUS - Boy Meets World

HANK and JOHN GREEN - Vlogbrothers


EZRA FITZ - Pretty Little Liars

HAROLD - Harold and Kumar...

SHELDON - Big Bang Theory

DOOGIE - Doogie Howser M.D.

Tuesday, February 01, 2011


So I've decided to blog everyday this month. This is the third time that I'm doing a "Blog Everyday..." project. It started with YA Author Maureen Johnson a couple of years ago and I enjoyed it, so I'm doing it again.

This is my first one of the month; don't worry, the others won't be as boring as this one. I may do the same thing for my Creative blog. This is exciting!!!

Enjoy reading
Locations of visitors to this page