Monday, April 27, 2009


Looks like my life is super boring right now. I'm not dating anyone, I have no prospects. My job is boring and I have no prospects with that either. I am totally being cheated of my talents and I am to lazy to do anything about it. Well, I'm not sure if it's laziness or low self-esteem or I'm using the economy as an excuse.

Have you ever seen a really cool job and thought that you would love to do that? "I'd like to sing on stage, I'd like to write a book, I want to be a painter, I could do this, I could do that." But then you don't do anything to go about any of them. I bought these two GRE study guides thinking that I would study and then eventually apply to grad school, but then I got side-tracked or discouraged or both.

I don't even know what I want to study because of what is going on now, I can't afford to go to school and if I was able to, I would have to study something that would get me a good job and make me financially stable. It's the whole survival mentality that my parents bestowed upon me. They came from Haiti and did whatever they could to make a life for themselves here in the United States. They may have had personal dreams, but I think they gave their dreams away for security and stability. Now instead of telling their kids (me and my siblings) to go for our dreams, they are telling us to do what we have to do to live comfortably NOW, and worry about dreams later. I don't want to do that, but that is what I have been doing.

Now I am so confused. Some say, live your dreams because life is short, and others say to make yourself stable now and live your dream later. Who is right? I feel like I'm stagnant in a fast paced world and no one is trying to help me. Well, I need help so will someone help me?

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