Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Glee/ Book/ Chilly/ Job search

I am watching Glee on fox right now and once again, it is knocking my metaphorical socks off. Kristin Chenoweth is on it and I love and adore her. I don't like that they have her playing a drunken whore who is reliving her high school day, but she plays it so well. That Rachel girl needs to slow her roll and respect her elders. you don't catch and attitude with the Cheno. (oh man, she just sang again with the hottie teacher guy)

A few weeks ago, we were doing art projects with the kids at work and I looked at one of the kids' hands to make sure all of the paint was off and I thought of a story called "Holly's Hands". I finished writing it over the weekend and if I have my way, it will be a pop-up book. So Holly is going through her day doing stuff that normal 5 year olds do, emphasis on things that she does with her hands. It's not very long, but it's cute and it's written so there we go.

I'm the kind of girl who runs a little hot so I am really appreciating the weather getting chillier. I don't want it to get super cold like I know that it will be soon, but it feels really good right now. I like sleeping with my comforter rather than with a thin sheet cause it makes me feel like I'm snuggling next to someone, ha!

So I re-registered for with my new email and I posted my resume, so hopefully things will look up job- wise and I'll be happy again. Like they said "sister are doing it for themselves" and I am about to do it for myself. I am going to get mine. I can not be 25 years old and feel like I'm 60. My twenties are supposed to be happy, not crappy.

Ok, t'is all

Tuesday, September 29, 2009

Breathe In , Breathe Out

Today... was a day. Today was an interesting day. Today is a day that I would not like to repeat. I still have chills just thinking about what happened today.

I pretty much let my boss know that she shouldn't expect me to stay much longer. That's bad, right?

I don't feel right writing about this, but I will rip it off like a band aid.

I asked my boss why I hadn't had my 2 year evaluation yet and she looked at my like I was crazy. She avoided me for about an hour after that and then we had a talk in her office. Apparently I (1) should have told her sooner about my 2 years being up, (2) have been giving her an attitude lately and (3) I'm not working hard enough in the morning.
Well in my defense, I don't feel right going up to my boss and asking her for my raise just like that. I find it rude and annoying. my attitude is completely justified because I've been working there for 2 years and I never talk or ask for anything. I do everything that is asked of me and I don't go complaining every second when I'm not happy about something. As for that nonsense about not doing more in the early morning, first off, it was just today, second, that parent who complained is a jack ass and third, who the hell hires an overweight 66 year old woman who gets sick all of the time to watch children?

If I were MG or RA, those things would be overlooked because they are the golden children. They can get away with murder. Tell me why I had to help out in MG's classroom when she had less than 20 kids and there were 4 teachers in there, mind you, ration is 1 teacher to 10 kids. Maybe it's because MG wants to roam around the facility doing whatever the f*** she wants with her a$$ crack sticking out of her pants. I hope her arse crack gave a good impression to the woman who came to evaluated the classroom today.

I "shocked" my boss when I asked her if someone was going to relieve me so that I could take my break when the evaluation lady was here. According to boss lady, I said it with a really bad attitude and I shouldn't have let eval. lady hear. I don't see how volume coincides with attitude, but whatever.

The thing that sucks donkey balls is that I feel bad that I might have hurt my boss's feelings. I feel bad that even though I am totally justified, I may have hurt someone's feelings. Now I am sitting at home with all of this rage + sadness + guilt + 25 years of being the little sister (I'm watching Fred Claus and it's really hitting home), and I have no one here to take my side and make me feel better.

Anyway, I told my boss that I am feeling pressure from my family and myself about doing something with myself and leaving my job. I know that I should not have said that to her, but I couldn't help myself. I felt like I was in a therapy session talking about my feelings and I teared up, a little. Even though I feel bad about this (which I really shouldn't) I know that this was a long time coming and I never should have taken that job in the first damn place.

At least I'm finally getting my f***ing raise.

Monday, September 28, 2009


I thought that today was going to be a pin because I had to work alone in my class room, but luckily I only had 3 kids to look after and I rather enjoyed myself. I'm glad that I didn't have to deal with two specific children, but that is mainly because all they want to do is be sourpusses and cry all day. I don't need that.

Here is what I did at work today:
In at 6:15, did the bleach bottles and the paper towels and rugs
Opened at 6:30
Tidied up classroom and did the lesson plan for the week
My 3 kids came in and a I fed/changed diapers when necessary
9:00 went over the words of the week, counting, colors and sang songs
10:00 went out for a walk in the buggies around the facility and the kids touched and smelled the trees
10:30 Inside to tidy up the room and clean the toys while the kids were in the bouncers
11:00 lunch for the kids, set up for quiet time and change diapers
12:00 quiet time and my break time (which ends at 12:45)
2:00 Change diapers, set the room back for class time and hung out till 3 when I finally get to leave.

After work, I went to get my oil changed by a delicious man with an accent at Jiffy Lube and then i went to the mall to buy two books (Bran Hambric: The Farfield Cruse by Kaleb Nation and The Disreputable History of Frankie Landau Banks by E. Lockhart) a pair of skinny jeans (though I am far from skinny) a chain with a cross pendant (cause it was cute and it was $3) and some concentrated air freshener for my car and hand sanitizer from Bath and body works.

I don't know why I was in a spending mood, but I was. Sometimes i would rather have the stuff than the money because the money doesn't do me any good when it's just green paper in my wallet. I would rather have things that serve a purpose. What's the point of having the money if you won't do anything with it? (what happened to the days of "do you wanna trade your tuna for my pb&j" but that is a whol other topic.)

C and I were supposed to hang out today and have out Martini Monday, but (surprise, surprise) she flaked. Better for my anyway; I'd rather go to work with a clear head.


Saturday night was rather regular. I spent the whole day waiting for the family to come.I think I told you all that I had to sing early that morning, so I was rather lazy for the rest of the day. The parents, my brother and my cousin came over around 7 or 8 (and I yelled to the cabby, yo homes smell ya later... haha) and we just hung around for a bit till bed time, though I stayed up pretty late. Sunday morning, we went to church and then we went to Kohl's to get some picture frames for my sister to give to her professors. While we were at Kohl's, I saw my favorite kid's dad (he works there). It was a little awkward, but it was nice to have someone in my work life know my family life. It's really weird because I talk about my family with my "friends" here and they have never met them. In the two years that I have lived here, my work people have never met my family.

I guess I should see it as more of a blessing.

So we got the picture frames, a pair of pants for Pat and a cute little bracelet for my sister. A few hours later, we drove down to Landsdale, PA to visit K (she flew in from San Fran to give a talk to the Merck people about her research). We had dinner somewhere nearby and we took pictures and we had a genuinely good time. She really liked the bracelet, unless she's taken some acting classes over in SF. I'm glad I got to see her, even though she practically called me a waste.

Saturday, September 26, 2009

Yeah, I skipped a day

Who cares, I missed a day. It's not because I forgot, I was just way too tired to bother. I know that no one cares anyway since I've been mostly ranting about ridiculous things. My job is crazy and my social life is nonexistent so I have no outlet except for choir.

Choir is annoying and boring and I need a singing challenge or something. I hated that I had to wake up early this morning to go to church so that I could sing for the bishop. It would be really cool if it was me, by myself, but I just cantored. It was nice to have poeple come up to me and tell me that I did a great job, but I want people to cheer for me and scream my name and pay to see me. That would be awesome.

I keep gettig these weird bug bites on my hand and feet. They itch but they don't look like mosquito bites. It worries me a little. I noticed that the bites are on areas where there are no bones like the achilles area or in between my thumb and index fingers. I have been spending more time outside that I used to so that might be the thing and I've been wearing sandals and having my hands near the grass, so I am sure that is how I got them. I just think that it is interesting that they are positioned where they are.

I talked to my sister today and she pretty much told me that I was a waste of space and kept on talking like I wasn't supposed to have a reaction. As I said once before, when people say negative things about me, I tend to believe them because they are my family and they know me better than I know myself. So it hurts to hear that I am useless. It hurts. Thanks sis.

Thursday, September 24, 2009


Pride is one of the seven deadly sins, but apparently it is a sin to have any sort of good regard for yourself or feel that you deserve a bit of extra pampering. (That is a completely other topic) These are the things of which I am proud.

I survived the Hill School and graduated
I got into and graduated from college
I have a really great singing voice
I make really cool collages
I'm really good at controlling my anger (really comes in handy at work)
I was captain of the Girls Track and Field team (the throwers)
Every other kid at the day care loves me
I speak 3 languages, technically
I'm pretty well read
I'm a good girl
I'm responsible

Not a very long list but it is growing gradually.

What are some the things that make you proud?

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Stream of Consciousness

I don't have a damn thing to talk about. Right now I am eating my second bowl of chocolate chip cookie dough ice cream and watching Glee. This show is ridiculously hilarious. The girl who plays Rachel looks like Idina Menzel and the main actor is soooo cute. I wouldn't mind hanging out with him for a few hours.

I wish there was a community theater here that I could be a part of. There probably is, but I'm not exactly looking (I should be). I'm just getting sick of doing the same crap all of the time. (Oh my goodness, why were the football players doing the Beyonce Single ladies dance?)

My head hurts, that time is coming soon, boo! they are dancing on the field, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
That made my day
Aww, Beyonce helped them win the game
mybe my head is hurting because I need to go to the dentist. I haven't been to one in 4 years.
I need to get my car inspected before this month is over. And I need to get an oil change.
I was watching (ooh yay, Kristin Chenoweth is going to be on it, how funny is that since her and Idina Menzel are friends) that movie with Brenden Fraser "Center of the Earth" and I was thinking how cool that would be, minus the dinosaurs of course.

"It's ten pm, do you know where your children are?" HAHA, that cracks me up every time.

Ok, it's bed time.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009


I miss my best friends, Charlie, Kim and Mollie. If I were normal, I would just contact them or go see them, but they are too far away for my comfort and I hate talking on the phone. (I left that out of yesterdays list, i think)

Work is frustrating and I have no one to vent to (that is why I write here). Since no one ready this anyway, I figure I could write the most embarrassing thing about me and no one will know.

I'm tired.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Not favorite

Here is a list of things that I REALLY do not like

Talking on the phone
People asking me for favors
People who make their significant others feel like they aren't good enough
Clusters of dots
Bad Grammar
Dudes that wear their pants under their arses
People who get mad when you say no
Skinny people who pick at their bellies saying that they are fat
Teachers who make you feel stupid
My boss
Religious Zealots
People on welfare that keep having babies
Lacking Insurance

And on that note, I must go to bed. Good night

Sunday, September 20, 2009


Just a long list of things (people) that are my favorites

Man- JC Chasez
Food- Bacon
Color- Purple
Actress- Kate Winslet
Author-Jane Austen
Male Singer- Josh Groban
Play- Wicked (the musical)
Movie- The Holiday and Sense and Sensibility
Book Series turned Movie- Harry Potter
Young Adult Author- John Green and Maureen Johnson
Flower- Pink Gerbera Daisies
Drink- Gin and Tonic and Sour Apple Martini
Female singer- Whitney Houston and Celine Dion
Scent- Lavender
Places I've visited- London
Places I'd like to visit- Paris
Time I'd like to visit- Regency England
Ice Cream- Cookies and cream and Chocolate Chip cookie Dough
Junk Food- Utz Sour Cream and Onion Chips\
Fictional Couple- Lizzy Bennet and Fitzwilliam Darcy
Foreign film- Amelie
Memory- All the good ones with PGVB (makes me sad)
Sport- Soccer and Track and Field
Way to pamper myself- pedicures and a new book
Date I've been on- Olive Garden with the "orange" rose and tiramasu
Dessert- Millefeuille
Tv show- Charmed and Gilmore girls
Painter- Leonardo DaVinci
Modern Painter- Shano
Actor- Colin firth
Season- Spring
Super Hero- MMPR's Pink and White ranger
Emotion- School-girl giddy
State of being- Sleep

On that note, good night all.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Arranged Marriages

Last night, I had a dream that my parents wanted to arrange my marriage. They found me a guy whom they thought was perfect for me and I was supposed to marry. Apparently I was happy with their choice and I had a long and happy life with the man.

It got me thinking about marriage and why people look down on arranged ones. I used to think that love was a huge deal and I could never marry someone if I wasn't in love with him. Now, I think that respect, common interests and a general sense of compassion are all you need. Modern marriages are so unsuccessful and I don't want that in my future. I refuse to get divorced. Love is so fickle and it makes me sad to know that marriages have failed because the couple "fell out of love". That is just an excuse. They just don't want to be together anymore or they've met someone else that they believe might be better. If their marriage was based entirely on "love" and the love was suddenly not there anymore, then what do they have?

Maybe arranged marriages aren't such a bad thing. Your parents watched you grow up, they know your general interests and the kind of people you like (if they are good parents) so maybe they would be good people to find you a mate. Actually, I don't know. I want to be able to find someone for myself but all of the ones that I pick have been crap or too far away and I refuse to believe that I am meant to be alone. I'm just so sick of wanting this so bad when there is a possibility that I won't get it at all.

Here is where I become 2 years old. I just want someone to hold my hand and kiss my boo boos and tell me that everything will be alright.

(No wonder the movies don't tell you what happens after the couple gets together)

Friday, September 18, 2009

A long day

It certainly has been a long and tiresome day. I almost passed out at work, today. When you combine heat, no air flow, hunger, florescent lighting and excessive movement, you get an effect that almost feels like a hang over.

I had to work with the younger toddlers for the third time this week and I was exhausted. Keeping in mind that I wake up at 5am, eat at 5:30am and then have my lunch at 12pm, one can imagine that by 10:30am I was starving and feeling lightheaded after having chased 13 children on the playground (in 60 something degree weather and entering into a classroom that was 80 something degrees). Drastic temperature changes are very bad to me. My head and my back were hurting like crazy. I felt like the air was stinging my skin.

Nothing helped. I had water, nope. A muffin, nope. A 45 minute nap during my lunch break, nope.

After work, I took another nap, which helped a little and then I did something rather dumb. I went to the movies to see Love Happens, which didn't really have a lot of love happening, and surprisingly enough, I feel better. I don't know how , but I do. So now, I'm just going to relax in my not very comfortable bed and see if I can have a good dream, unlike last night. Heidi, Spencer, Will Robinson and Damon from the Vampire Diaries were all trying to kill me. Crazy as hell, right? No wonder I was feeling like crap today.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

A few quotations

I was digging for something to write about and I stumbled upon a few quotations that I collected (yeah, I collect quotations, business cards and movie ticket stubs).

This is a quotation that I really should keep to heart.
"No one can make you feel inferior without your consent."- Elinor Roosevelt
If you read yesterday's blog, which was uber ridiculous, you would understand why that one is important to me.

This is a quotation that I feel should be the motto of current leaders but so totally isn't .
"The virtuous leader can pass among his subjects with the ease of the wind."- Confucious
I should let my boss know that one, maybe everyone would hate her less.

Here is some advice for the gentlemen on how to treat a lady.
"Woo her. Admire her. Make her feel like the most sublime creature on Earth." Gomez Addams (Addams Family values)
It's a given!!!

Finally, here is something that all of us who feel down in the dumps should think about.
"Insanity is being shit on, beat down, coasting through life on a miserable existence when you have a caged lion locked inside and the key to release it."-Morgan Freeman's character from "Wanted"
Even though he was the villain in the film, he has a point. Knowing that we have the power to do things, good things, and not doing anything about it is madness.

Well, I just wanted to share that with you. Have a good night.

Wednesday, September 16, 2009


Is it bad that I am hoping the day care shuts down? Today was such a horrible day and I don't think I can repeat it without going crazy. I need to go back to school or something because I see no future for myself. I'm so busy thinking about other people and what they want that I don't have a real chance to think about myself and what I really want for myself. I've always done what was expected of me. My real problem is that I have no determination, no drive. I've lost my passion for life. I used to be this kid who smiled all of the time. I would strut around thinking I was so cute, thinking I was the shit and now, I don't go anywhere, I don't really hang out with anyone.

I'm probably turning you all off from me, but I have to be honest. You're probably thinking, "well if you think you suck so much, why should we read your blog and bother with anything you do?"
Because I need you to prove me wrong. I'm so used to boosting other people up and I'm stuck here on the bottom. That is how I feel at home, at work and with friends.

Ugh! I shouldn't be writing that. Completely disregard all of that nonsense up there. My life is great, there is nothing wrong with it. I can boost myself up, I can't rely on other people to do it for me. Ok, that's it, I gotta "do me"!

Wish me luck! (thanks for letting me rant, I'm sure it was annoying)

Tuesday, September 15, 2009

No Good Deed Goes Unpunnished

Why is it that whenever someone does something good, people think that there is a hidden agenda? People are sooooo not trusting.

I remember an episode of Friends where Phoebe tried to do a good and selfless deed and completely failed. Is it possible to do a good deed and not receive some sort of reward? Is it possible to do something good and remain neutral?

I don't think that it is possible because people like feeling appreciated and when you do something good, you are appreciated.

I just wanted an excuse to share my two favorite "Wicked" songs. Whenever I decide to quit my job, I'll leave singing "Defying Gravity".

Monday, September 14, 2009


I needed this. I needed to get a little intoxicated tonight. Stress and craziness are invading my life right now, and even though I don't condone it, I think that I need to let loose, and have fun a little bit.

I am sure that in the morning I am going to be in pain and dreading having to go to work, but that is just something I am going to have to deal with. My friend C called me and asked me if I wanted to get wasted tonight and I was like, "what else am I going to do tonight?" so that is what I am doing. Pictures were taken, but they are too embarrassing for others to see. Ok, I'm not really drunk, I'm tipsy. I can say my alphabet backwards and I can walk in a straight line touching my nose.

Don't lose respect for me because I indulged a little. I never indulge. I am always the good girl. I'm the "as you wish" girl. I'm getting sick of it. I need to quit my job. I need to go to New York and get discovered or something. I'm sick of being mundane.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

A happy topic!!!


What's it like? What happens afterwards? Do you really see a light? What about the life? The body is no longer functioning, but what happens to the essence? I don't mind waiting to find out these answers, but I'm really curious. I just refuse to believe that after I die, there's nothing else. I want to believe that death is like an everlasting sleep. After death would be and ever-dreamland or something. I don't want to deal with this heaven/hell business and I really don't want to be a ghost because that would mean that I would be stuck on this earth. That would totally suck.

I have a few theories:

1. Afterlife is like an ever-dream
2. The whole seeing the light thing is us going through the birth canal and we are reborn.
3. Time isn't linear, but loopy. Dying is waking up from a sleep and suddenly you are your 5 year old self... again.
4. Combo of 2 and 3- We are reborn as a person in the far past or in the far future.
5. We are all computers and we just don't work anymore so there is nothing afterwards.

I would like to hear some of your theories. This is fun. Thinking up ideas of what happens after we die. I just don't accept the idea of standing in a long line for eternity and then have some dude with a book (who's not allowed in, mind you) tell you whether you can or can't go to Heaven. What is Heaven anyway? Sorry J, but it all sounds boring, there's got to be something different.

I didn't want to write about religion, but when it comes to death, I guess it kinda plays a part.

Saturday, September 12, 2009

Crap Weekend

Today was a crazy lazy day. All I did was sit around and read or watch television. At least my body is relaxing, though it would be nice to have someone around to talk to. Phone calls with my sister don't count because she does all of the talking and I can't get a word in. My friends here are mostly work friends and I guess I'm not worthy to talk to outside of work (I don't really mind it though, because that is just too much drama and I don't want to be reminded of work when I'm not there).

I am dreading going to church tomorrow. I have to canter, so that means I have to introduce all of the songs and sing the psalm alone so that everyone can hear it. I don't mind the singing, it's the looks that people give me afterwards like they are surprised that I have a nice voice. (I don't take compliments well, mostly 'cause I think they are lying.) I also don't like getting involved in things that I would rather have as a tiny part of my life. Church, for me, is just one hour out of the week where I just sit and think.

Rehearsals take more time than an actual mass and everything is unorganized. The choir director is flakey and looks like a hobbit (sorry Bilbo, no offense). She's not very good at leading. Everything seems forced and I reeeeeaaallllyyyy want to quit, but i don't think I will be able to find another singing outlet. I feel like I could be doing more with my voice than just normal church stuff. Plus, it really bothers me that we don't even warm up.

Imagine waking up at 7am, you are the only one in the house. You shower, you eat breakfast, you watch television, you read. You haven't used your voice AT ALL, then you go to choir rehearsal at 11:30 and you are expected to sing and sound great sans warming up. Unh Unh! I don't think so! People look at you because you are cracking and you can't quite reach that note knowing very well that you can reach higher notes AFTER HAVING WARMED UP PROPERLY!!!!!!!!!!!

It really sucks to be alone and lonely.

Friday, September 11, 2009

Post 100

For my 100th post, I would like to write about something that is very close to my heart. My hair. My hair and I have gone through a lot together. Permanents, relaxers, braids, twists, dramatic cuts and now, it's growing out naturally.

Now, I know what you're thinking. "Seriously? You're going to write about your hair? Seriously?"

Well, my hair is a symbol for all of the changes that have happened in my life. When I was 9, my mom made me permanently straighten my hair because it was too coarse for her. It was nice and long and beautiful and well taken care of. When I got to high school (boarding school) I had to learn to take care of myself and that is when my hair started to fall out and get split ends. i didn't have the resources to take good care of my hair. When it comes to African American women, hair care is very very important. Anyway, in college I cut all of my hair off and let it grow back naturally. So it's been six years since I cut my hair and I love the way that it is and even though people keep telling me to permanently straighten it again. I tell them, NO.

As weird as it may sound, I think that they way that I treated my hair reflects the way that I felt about myself. When I was younger, my parents had control over me. When I got to high school, I had to learn to take over and I did a horrible job at it. When I got to college, I didn't like the way that i was so I had to start from scratch. Cutting my hair was my fresh start. I like the way that my hair turned out, but my "fresh start" didn't turn out so hot. Ugh! Frustration.

Thursday, September 10, 2009

Mom/ Grandma/Sis

Just when I think that I can be comfortable around my mom, she does or says something that pisses me off. I love the woman, don't get me wrong, but we've grown up in different worlds. Things that were important to her are completely different than the things that are important to me. We have our moments when we can just hang out and be all mother-daughter together and there are moments when I can't stand to be around her. Ugh, and she wonders why I don't call often.

I'm scared for my Grandma. She's going to be 90 in March and she is not doing well. I know that death is inevitable, but for some juvenile reason, I believed that my grandparents were going to live for... ever. Ok, I'm five. Well,I have my dad's step-mom and my mom's mom left. So much for my grandparent's living forever. Anyway, I'm scared for my mom's mom because for some reason, I keep having these visions of receiving a phone call telling me that she is gone. I want her to see my future wedding pictures and hold my future child. She's already a great-grandmother and she was thrilled to find out that she was going to be one. Let's not count our chickens before they hatch. She's still alive and kicking and being her silly self. She's got 10 kids, 21 grandkids and 1 great-grand child so her legacy will live on.

Alright, some good news. My sister is doing BIG things! My big sister, Dr. K. R. (sorry, I don't want people to google her and find this) is going to be in Maryland, working for the FDA. She is so stressed out because her boss is being a dick, but soon, she will be done with him and she will come back home, well, to the east coast. She new exactly what she wanted, she wet for it and she got it. Boy was it so much fun growing up in her shadow (ok, that wasn't necessary).

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Did Jane Austen write me?

I was just thinking about Jane Austen's leading ladies and how I relate to each of them. I haven't exactly had the happy endings like they did, but I still have time (I hope).

Northanger Abbey
Catherine Morland- Comes from a rather poor (and large) family. She goes to spend some time with family in another city. The only thing she knows about life outside of her home is what she reads in books. She loves to read (a little too much) and sometimes her sense of reality gets a little skewed. Now she is in an environment where she tries to fit in (my entire high school experience) and others remind her that she doesn't belong. She's extremely naive and she gets put in her place by someone who holds the highest regard for her (though she doesn't know it).

Mansfield Park
Fanny Price is a poor girl who is sent to live with her aunts, uncle and 4 cousins. She is the rock of the family even though she is constantly reminded that she isn't one if the immediate family members. She answers to her aunts' every command; her female cousins are bitches; her uncle is rather douchy and her cousin Tom is a drunk. The only ones there that genuinely care for her are her Aunt Bertram and her cousin Edmund. She feels obligated to do everything that her family wants and they continue to lack appreciation for her. The minute she makes a decision that she feels is right for her, they make her feel like an ungrateful fool.

Harriet Smith isn't the leading lady, infact, she's kind of a nobody. Her "best friend" is trying to change who she is and the things (people) that she likes. Harriet become a bit of a puppet and is manipulated into loving someone that she would not normally have. Things turn out good for her in the end, but that was by sheer luck.

Sense and Sensibility
Marianne Dashwood is the young songbird that refuses to hide her emotions and Elenor Dashwood is the responsible older sister who keeps her emotions to herself. They lose their father, their home and the men that they love because MEN ARE IDIOTS!!! (oops stupid caps lock key got stuck). Marianne is crying nonstop everywhere she goes and Elenor keeps a brave face. They learn to move on from their situations after a whole lot of drama. Happy ending!!

Anne Elliot has a crappy family. They are all douchy douche bags who only care about their social standing (even though they are in debt). Anne found the love of her life when she was younger but her Godmother told her not to marry him cause she was too young and he was a poor sailor. Years pass, he's back in her life and he's pissed at her. Everytime they are around each other he makes a point in saying that he can't stand it when people are easily persuaded. She feels like crap but she never ever ever stopped loving him.

Pride and Prejudice
Mary Bennet (you thought I was going to say Lizzy, didn't you?) is the unfortunate middle sister of 5. Not very pretty, not very talented no matter how much she practices, and apparently not all that important to the story because everytime she makes a comment they all just laugh at her. Her two older sisters get attention by being perfect and her two younger sisters get attention by being ridiculous so she tries to get attention by being artsy and profound. They don't care, though.

Except for Mary, they all get a happy ending. Still waiting for mine!

Tuesday, September 08, 2009

Books are good

Don't tell me what and what not to read!!!

I like books because they entertain me and the books like me because I give them a good home on my shelf.
Books help to broaden our minds and open our eyes to new things, but when someone says not to read certain things then we become close-minded. Just because there are witches, wizards, magic and vampires in these books doesn't mean they are evil. The characters may be evil, but the books themselves are not. I'm getting sick of hearing about people burning books and all that nonsense because the stories contain some "different" things. Do you think that burning these books is hurting the author, it's not. It's giving them notoriety and you have to buy the books to burn them, so you are giving them money. Author still wins and you look stupid.

(ok, not feeling up to par today. boo mother nature)

Monday, September 07, 2009

Family, only in moderation

I didn't get to do much reading this weekend because my family was here and they annoyed the business out of me. I feel like I have this obligation to be unoccupied while they are here so that I am free to do whatever it is that they need me to do. I sound like a crazy annoying teenager right now but I didn't have a normal teenage life so now is when I feel the need to be all " Moooooommm, you're embaaaarassssinnnngggg meeeeeee".

We took care of pool stuff and I watched "Dance your ass off" on Oxygen (I am more determined than ever to work it out) and read the book that I should have finished on Saturday. I will finish it tonight, even if I have to stay up late.

Obviously, I didn't have much to talk about today, maybe it is because I am dreading having to go to work tomorrow and my mind just wants to do nothing for a little while longer.

Sunday, September 06, 2009


I'm sorry the last couple of posts were, well, WHACK, but I have been ridiculously tired and my parents are here spending the long weekend, so I have to answer to their every command. I have so much stuff to do with the pool and they don't know how to help me (they don't want to help me). They grew up in the islands and they are used to warm weather, so they don't want to put on the air conditioner. I, on the other hand, and dying of heat exhaustion and they don't care. Whatever.

I had to babysit last night. It wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. Two kids, a 3 yr old and a 2 yr old, they are sweet kids and disgustingly cute except for when it's bed time. I've lost my ability to sympathize with children because I have to deal with them everyday so when a child cries for his or her mommy, I just wait it out to the point where the crying sounds like background music.

In other news, we went in the pool today. Finally!! After having the thing for over 2 months, my dad, my brother and I went in it. Well, the guys went in it, I only had my legs in it. At least now we can say that we went in it at some point this summer.

At church today, while the priest was giving his homily, I was busy spacing out (after my sister called me and my cell was ringing loudly, Thanks K). I was thinking about the whole "Gay is bad" situation and why it makes absolutely no sense to me. If God didn't want Homosexuals on Earth, than why did he put them here? I thought God could do everything, couldn't he make everyone heterosexual?

They say that we were sent here to "be fruitful and multiply" and that is the whole reason why homosexuality is wrong. If that is the case then why are there so many barren and infertile women out there? Why are there so many men out there with low sperm counts and are sterile? Well it's alright for them because they can adopt, right? They can have surrogate mothers, right? What about the gay and lesbian couples out there that desperately want and deserve families of their own? They are looked down upon because it is believed that they will not provide a stable home for the children. The children will be confused.

What about all of the children out there with no parents to love them. All of the abandoned children, the crack babies, the abused children, the children who are sold into slavery. The children in African countries and in Haiti and all those places where you see the commercials that make you want to change the channel. I see no reason why or how those child will become confused or unstable just because they have two fathers or two mothers. Those children would settle for one parent just as long as they were receiving love, food and shelter. But, no! These adults are gay and they shouldn't have the right to have children, even if they are in a stable relationship and have awesome jobs and homes.

Speaking of stable relationships, what is this nonsense about not allowing homosexuals to marry? If they want to eff their lives up, then let them. Oh no, marriage is sacred. Bull!! If marriage was so sacred then why do more than half of marriages end in divorce? Why is there so much infidelity? Why are there so many children out of wedlock? Why are there so many people out there working on their seventh marriage? Oy! It really ruffles my feathers to see someone struggle so hard to be able to have a right that they would have had if they didn't love differently and then see someone who has that right abusing it.

It's just like money. There are so many families out there who struggle to make ends meet and there are people out there who have loads of money and they spend it on completely unnecessary things. Seriously, where do they get all of that money for the lottery? I think there are better things that could be done with that cash, don't you? (Now I'm actually curious about what goes on with that lottery money.)

I need your opinions on this, gay rights and money.

Saturday, September 05, 2009

Holy Moly

Ok what can I write in 7 minutes?

Today, I talked to someone I haven't seen or spoken to in 10 years. He and I went to high school together. I was a freshman and he was a junior and he was only there for one year. He was such a cool dude (I had a crush on him, I told him that today too). Well, we talked about old times, stuff that happened after he left. He tried (and succeeded) to pry into my personal life. I think we talked for about 3 hours and it was a breath of fresh air.

After that, I helped my mom fix up some fruit for a b-day party and then we went to said b-day party and then I babysat for my favorite student and his evil big sister.

Now I have a migrain and it's midnight.

Friday, September 04, 2009


I just wanted to know if anyone has had an original though lately. This seems to be the era of the Vampires. There's True Blood, Blood Ties, Vampire Diaries, The House of Night book series, Twilight book series, Mr. Darcy: Vampyre and I'm sure there's more.

Don't get me wrong, Vampires are sexy and I love the idea and everything, but Jeez. One person has to come out with a Vampire thing so everyone has to come out with a Vampire thing.

Just like the crazy Penguin Era: March of the Penguins, Happy Feet and those crazy Madagascar Penguins.

That's all I've got, I'm not really in a writing mood (can you believe it?). Sorry.

Thursday, September 03, 2009


Here are some places that I would like to visit.







Now all I need are plane tickets.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Who likes random? I do, I do!

Have you ever thought about something that was totally hilarious and burst out with laughter and had the people around you look at you funny?

Don't you hate it when you are lost in thought and some one asks you what you are thinking about. You finally tell that person after a couple minutes of ridiculous begging, that person responds with, "Oh" like you just wasted that person's time?

Why is it that your friends are busy trying to get you in a relationship and the minute you're in one, they are the first ones to tell you that the person you are with is scum?

My views on music- A song is rather fast paced, danceable, upbeat, contains a catchy tune, contains lyrics about falling in love or having fun with friends, but when a black person sings it, it's called R&B; when a white person sings it, it's called Pop.
A song is too fast paced to be danceable, angry at times and raunchy at times, the lyrics aren't sung but are spoken or screamed in a way that makes the words completely indecipherable, music videos contain women in bikinis. If the song was done by a black person, it's Rap; if it was done by a whit person, it's Rock and Roll.
A song is rather slow and soulful, big emphasis on the instrumentals, lyrics are either depressing or sensual, singer has an interesting voice. Black person, Soul or Blues; white person, Emo or Indie.

We're all singing the same stuff the same way so why does there have to be different classifications?

Alrighty, I think that is all I have for today.

Tuesday, September 01, 2009

Advice on Acceptance

It seems to me that all of the best advice that has ever been given has been given to children. Throughout time, children have been running around believing that they can be whatever they want to be when they grow up. They believe that when they get older, they will be the strongest, bravest, smartest, etc. person in the whole world. Finally when they do get older, the people who told them to dream big are the same people who are now saying that their dreams mean absolutely nothing. One can no longer be who he or she wants to be. In order to succeed, one must conform, walk the straight and narrow, fit an unfittable mold that society constructs. Now, we, as adults, are unable to dream as we did when we were children. We are no longer able to be ourselves.

To heck with that. The crazy blond lady in the film "Under the Tuscan Sun" said it best when she said, "Never lose your childish innocence".

In my opinion, the biggest problem that we are facing today, a problem that I believe is the root of a lot of our other problems, is the inability to be accepting. Of course, there is a line that needs to be drawn when it comes to ethical issues, but when we look at our history, I think we will find a multitude of things that could have been prevented if we were able to be more accepting.

Here is some advice that today's children might recognize and may be helpful for adults.

Self Acceptance- Barney the Purple Dinosaur had it right when he had his friends sing "You are special! You're the only one; you're the only one like you. There is no other in the whole wide world who can do the things you do."

Acceptance of others- At risk of completely contradicting what Barney had to say, Raffi sings, "Each one is much like another. A child of a mother and a father. A very special son or daughter, a lot like me and you."

The Acceptance of new things and ideas- Well I think that Pippi Longstocking would have a thing or two to say about that. Maybe something along the lines of "Just because something is new and different doesn't mean it has to be bad."

Acceptance of unwanted outcomes- Stephanie from Lazytown sings, "There is always a way, you gotta know you can make it. There is always a way. You gotta believe in yourself. Soon you'll be shining 'cause you never stopped trying. Really believe there is always a way."

Here's a cute little video to make you smile
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