I learned a lesson yesterday that I always understood, but didn't really get. As some of you may know, I'm on this exercise kick and it is really sticking with me. I've been doing a lot of self improvement. I seriously thought that I was doing all of this to get others to like me. At least, that is why I was doing it before, and that is also why I failed all those times before. Now I know that improving myself has nothing to do with other people and everything to do with me. And it isn't really even improving myself, I'm just chipping away at all of the gunk that is inconsistent with the person that I want to be or really am.
A sculptor was once asked how he knew what to chip away and what to keep. He replied by saying that he was taking away everything that wasn't the sculpture. We as human beings are already perfect sculptures; we are just carrying all of that extra stuff on us that keeps us hidden.
The lesson I thought I knew was:
"If you can't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best."
That's all well and good, but last night I learned:
"If I can't love myself at my worst, I don't deserve myself at my best."
What a difference a pronoun makes. I have been judging myself with all of these ridiculous standards for so long that I hadn't realized how overshadowed my values and principles were. I always talk about how the world needs more love and acceptance, but how am I loving and accepting myself if I am constantly telling myself that I should be a different way? Now I know that I am living my perfect life and being my perfect self right now.
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