Saturday, August 05, 2006

Free, I think

I've been moping around the house knowing that someone that I really really wanted to be with was happy with someone else. I had actually gotten to the point where I decided to forget about men for a while and focus on myself and my future. Every once in a while I'd look at picutres him and his girl and wonder why I never got a chance to have that with anyone or with him. Then I'd wonder why I was torturing myself like that and I'd try to forget him. But alas I could not. I'd constantly think about him, about our past, about everything and it hit me. I realized that if I ever wanted to have love or intense like, I'd have to stop moping and just chill out. Men do not equal happiness. Finally, now that I am comfortable with this idea, he tells me that he is not with this girl anymore. WTF!!! The old me almost came back for a second. I am keeping my promise to myself. I'm not trying to get hurt again no matter how much i might like this guy. I just know that he will always be a friend to me. If things grow further then they grow further.

1 comment:

drracovid said...

right baby, let things grow!
world isn't only black and white and looking around you will find what you are searching for. you will find it not in a guy first but you will find something that makes you crazy, happy something that it is worth spending time with. keep your eyes open! :o)

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