Major Fail, or is it?

My birthday is next week and I am nowhere near reaching my goal. I haven't given up, per se, I'm just taking my time and... oh who am I kidding, I'm procrastinating and I take pleasure in it. I like it when people look at me in that "what the hell are you waiting for?" manner. Why, you ask? Well, it is simple. I would rather have people have no faith in me and prove them wrong than have people believe in me and disappoint them.

On a related note, my boss told me of an opportunity where I could have a better position and better pay if I were to get my CDA (child development associate). Since I already have my bachelor's degree and am the smartest person there, it would make the day care look even better and I would get what I deserve.

The reason why I have the crappy position that I have now is because I don't have any education in education, Early childhood education to be exact. Even though I've gone to numerous trainings on how to make observations and mastering the PA Keys learning standards, I still have to take classes. So my boss told me that in order to get the CDA, I just have to take 3 courses and I wouldn't have to pay for them if I applied for a scholarship through TEACH. Sounds good, right? Well, here's the catch. After I take these classes and get this "degree" I would HAVE to stay at the day care for another year. If I were to leave in any time less than a year, I would have repay EVERY CENT of the scholarship money. This is where I have reservations. It is bad enough that I've worked there for 2 years but if I want to get my CDA for free I would have to stay there for another year and a half. (The semester doesn't start till the fall, so that explains the extra half year.)

I talked to my sister about this and she said that I should get it, but I should pay for it myself so I won't be tied to the day care. I wouldn't mind this idea if my current pay was better, however it is not so...

And the whole point of me getting the CDA (my personal reasoning, not my boss's) is so that I can get paid better at the day care. Which means that if I want to enjoy te higher pay I would have to stay there anyway. I am going to tell you right now, I am not going to leave that day care just to go to another one. Pshh! It's bad enough that I have to work at one at all.

On to things that I really want to do in life. I started two short stories and they seem promising. I'm drawing my sister as a cancer-curing super hero. I showed her a rough draft and she wants me to draw her cuter. Choir is going alright but they are trying to be all social and stuff, which isn't cool. The best artists are reclusive and borderline hermit-ish. I'm weird and socially awkward, please don't throw me to the public, unless it has something to do with me showing off my gifts.

I'm not all that socially awkward; I'm pretty funny. I just sing a lot, so be prepared.