Monday, February 16, 2009

Out of sight out of mind vs. Absence makes the heart grow fonder

What happens in a relationship when the two people are far away from each other? Do you miss your loved one so much that you love them even more or do you completely forget about them because they are not around?
For me, I am the type of person who would constantly think about the guy that I am with whether he is with near or far away. I still think about the guy I dated 6 months ago. Although I think about the guy all of the time, I think less about my family when they are not around. Perhaps for me, it is because I know that my family will always be there so I don't have to worry about them or my standing with them, but when it comes to the guy, I have no idea how long our relationship will last so I am going to constantly think about it.
Is that all it is? Can someone get so comfortable in a relationship where they wouldn't have to think about it as much? Is that a sign of a healthy relationship or a failing relationship? I have absolutely no idea.

I'm only asking these questions because I am getting sick of being with a guy and have him talk up a good game long enough to get me and then once he's finally got me, he acts like he doesn't care anymore and just throws me away. I know I'm not trash and I know that I am worth much more than that, but why am I always the one to care more? Why cant there be a guy who cares enough about me to think of me every once in a while and isn't creepy or anything like that? I just want a guy I like and likes me back to tell me once in a while that he misses me and can't wait til we can be together again. I don't want to come off as selfish or anything, I just want to know that it is actually possible to have someone have genuine feelings for me. I want to know that is it possible for a guy to miss me enough that he would get a little ache in his chest knowing that I am no longer with him like I do all of the time.
I don't like feeling this way. I don't want to have a flash of my ex and still long for him, knowing that he is already 5 months in a relationship with someone else after 6 months of breaking off our 2 month relationship with the excuse: I want to date around and see what else is out there.

Grrrrr! Mr. "You're perfect in every way, but I haven't dated a lot and I want to have that experience before I settle down"

Grrrrr! Mr. "It's only been 2 months, but I'm not in love with you yet so I should just end it now"

The sad part of this is that I know he hasn't thought of me at all in 6 months, but I have been of him everyday since May 23, 2008, when we started writing to each other.

I'm so pathetic.

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