Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Today on Oprah

Best selling author, Geneen Roth was a guest on Oprah today. She was there to talk about her book "Women Food and God" and how it can help you with your weight loss. She explained how dieting leads to self loathing and a lack of self worth. This makes a lot of sense because when you think about dieting, you think about denying yourself of the things that you like. A diet can be seen as a punishment for letting yourself go.

She also explained that when you eat when you aren't hungry, you are not allowing yourself to feel. Normally, you eat to fix feeling hungry, and you stop eating when you are satisfied. When you aren't hungry, you are something else. You are happy, sad, tired, bored, angry, whatever. These feelings are overwhelming at times and you want to feel satisfied. The easiest way to satisfy yourself is to eat something.

There is some goal in or lives that we wish we could achieve, but we aren't sure what it is yet. All we know about this goal is that it makes us feel good and satisfied with our lives. This good feeling is what Roth is interpreting as "God". Whether you call it God or not, it is ultimately this greater state of being that we wish we could have. Believing that there may not be a chance to reach this "greater state of being" we become overwhelmed and anxious. We don't like these feelings so we turn to food.

Oprah got emotional when she told her audience that she still feels anxiety when it comes to the possibility of disappointing people. She filled us in on how she was whipped as a child and wasn't allowed to feel what she was feeling after the whipping. (I've been there) She was told to take the beating, wipe the tears from her face and don't remind her elder that she was just beaten. I know that a lot of people have gone through this and many of her audience members were getting emotional. Because of this memory residing in her, Oprah, now, feels the need to stay in people's good graces. She feels that she will be punished somehow if she doesn't. To deal with that fear, she turned to food. She realized that she was still listening to the child inside of her. Now she knows, like the rest of us, that she is old enough to take care of herself.

Two former guests came back to the show to give an update on themselves. They were two women who were very good friends and perhaps cousin as well. The first time they were on the show, they talked about how one of them had lost so much weight and how the other one was jealous of that. They didn't see each other for 6 years after because they were ashamed. Today, the one who lost all of the weight gained it back and the other one feels a little bit better because she has her friend back. The two women learned that the one was jealous of the other, not because of the success of the other but because of her own failure.

When people aren't happy for you when you succeed, it has nothing to do with you and everything to do with them. They are insecure and are taking it out on you. This is the part where they talk about a chapter in the book called "Reteaching Loveliness". We have to believe that we were put on this world for more than just trying to lose weight. When we diet, we tell ourselves that we are fat, ugly, unworthy. "Self loathing doesn't lead to change." If we want to see a change in ourselves, we have to look at ourselves differently. We have to stop looking at the things that we hate about ourselves and look deeper. When we look deep into our souls, do we like what we see? When critiquing ourselves, we have to be as kind to ourselves as we would be if we were talking to children. You would never tell a child who feels fat that she has a big tummy and jiggly thighs.

We have to change our beliefs and realize that food doesn't work when it comes to fixing our spirits. Yes, you are good enough. Yes, you are lovable. Don't let food numb you.

These were a few tips that were given at the end of the show:
Eat when you're hungry.
Eat sitting down. (not in a car)
Eat till you are satisfied.
Eat what your body wants.
Eat with enjoyment.

This show helped me realize some things about myself and why I like food a little more than I should.

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