Going back

I guess there is a reason why the weather is so gloomy today. At 1:30 pm today, I will be on a bus back to New Jersey and I really don't want to go. I have nothing to go to there. My mother made it clear how she felt about my presence. So I'm not looking forward to being back there. I'm making it my mission to be on top of my job hunt and hopefully it will take me out of New Jersey. I'm also going to be submitting my writing to certain places. I can't have any distractions anymore so who knows how often I'm going to be writing in here.

It's got to be everyday, but who knows.

I think I'm finally done running away from stuff and I am ready to get down to business. It's a really hard and scary thing knowing that you can run away as much as you want, but the real world is still out there waiting for you. The real world hasn't paused, so when you get back, it's going to be harder to deal with. you guys will probably read a lot more self deprecating posts before it gets better because I know exactly what I'm going to have to be facing when I get back.

!. Crazy mother
@. ridiculously unfruitful job market
#. living at home with the parents
$. bills that I CAN'T pay
%. The inability to go out and have fun with friends
^. Knowing that everyone I know is doing better than I am
&. The possibility that I might suck at writing and no one will publish me
*. Knowing that I'll probably never date again
(. I probably won't find a job before my 26th bday
). I'll be too stressed out to effectively continue losing weight


So much to worry about, which means I have to push it harder than I've ever done before.

This sucks!!!