My mother has been on crutches for the last week due to surgery on her feet. I, in turn, have become her "replacement". Not the sort of replacement that can do whatever she wants along with some of the responsibilities of being Mom 2.0, but the Nanny/Maid/Chauffeur/Chef that I know she has always wanted. I, of course, obliged her because she is my mother and "she gave me life and raised me and blah blah". Although I am not enjoying this, I am glad to say that I have learned two things so far.
The first thing I've learned is that I can be a very angry person with a bad attitude. Normally, I am a very nice person. Very sweet. My friends' parents always loved me. I'm very cordial and polite. I don't swear (in public) or put people down, but I've learned that after a while doubt, worry, sadness and overall bad feelings like to jump into a cauldron and boil into an Anger Bouillon. I know that it isn't good to keep my feelings inside, and I've heard that it is good to swear on occasion. Too bad little old me would rather be pleasant than honest. Unfortunately, my "attitude" likes to seep out at the most random times. The sister makes it a thing to let me know. She always seems to be around when it happens. Hmm, I wonder why?
Apparently what I do is either, roll my eyes and suck my teeth, raise my voice, or grunt a little and then say "Oh my Gooooooddddd". The sister would then say, "Regine (or Ninoy or Neener horrible, I know), you have such a bad attitude. You need to fix that." I would then look at her, scowl and walk away.
What triggers your anger?
Good question. Well, I don't like it when people tell me what to do like I'm stupid. I don't mind being instructed, in fact, I love to learn, but when someone talks to me like I'm 2 years old, my 25 year old brain says "Oh helllllllllllll no. I know you are not going to let THAT talk to you that way."
Another things that gets on my nerves is when someone puts their hands on me or touches me in some way. If you have no plans of courting me and becoming my suitor, don't touch me. For some reason, lately, being touched makes me feel belittled and powerless. Maybe a hug here or there, but that's pushing it a little.
Re, you have issues!
Tell me something I don't know!
The only thing that seems to be helping is some good belting music mostly found in the soundtrack of Wicked.
The other thing that I've learned is that people have children so that they can be taken care of when they are old. Parents put up with taking care of children so that there is a guarantee that someone will be there for them when they are old and frail. I'm bitter about this issue because my parents are cashing in big time.
When a child becomes independent and free-thinking, the parent says "I took care of you for such-and-such time and now you are acting like and ungrateful brat". My response to this is, "Did I ask you to do that?"
Re, you are an ungrateful brat!
I don't think so!
This is how I see it. A child is conceived due to vicious planning or irresponsibility and negligence. The child is finally born into a world that welcomes it with a slap on the behind, an amputation of the umbilical chord and another cutting for males. Then we are forced into incestuous acts by "receiving sustenance" from our mothers. What kind of world is this? Our parents HAVE to take care of us. Why? Because they have to apologize for the world that they brought us into. In their 18 years of apologizing, they have learned to twist it into a thing that we should be thankful for. After we are 18, we are sent off to fend for ourselves because they figured they did enough groveling and they hope that we aren't on to their scheme. Now we are brain washed into believing that we owe them for taking care us and providing for us when really what they did was keep us alive long enough to learn a few tricks, live a little, brainwash a new set of idiots and eventually DIE!
If all of that sounds ridiculous to you, that would be because you were well brainwashed or you are a glass-half-full kind of a person.
Ok, that's enough. Do you see the sorts of things I write when fueled by anger? At least I amused you for a little bit. Haha
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